One Way Contentment

I will try and forgive myself
for neglecting you
you need not forgive me
you probably did not notice the lack of me
the slack in my connection to all things that be you
you probably slept well
despite my absence
but I was aware of the space between us
it haunted me
showed face  in my dreams
tortured me until dreams became nightmares
every time I closed my eyes
 in my absence you were there
tattooed behind my eye's lid
pain
from the needle sting
 I cried for you
and I hated myself from all sides for leaving you behind

so I fought me
for you
so that I could be with you again
and now I must let the cookie crumble
the waters flow
the horn blow
I must let the eroded rock stumble its way down the hill
and forgive myself for leaving you
but you
you need not worry yourself with such foolishness
you need not worry
for you probably won't even notice that I'm here

you need me
not
but I need you
much
and all that matters is that I forgive myself enough to stay near you
safe in this spot