Sunday, August 29, 2010

DAMN, She Fine!

1. Let's break up all the seriousness of my last few posts
2. the Lady to the left has a BANGIN' body. I just wanted to share that with all of you.
(I would have cropped out the lady on the right but I didn't have the patience to figure out how)
3. in case you were wondering- these models are wearing Rosa Chá

A Word to My Readers- Abortion

A friend of mine asked that I write something tackling abortion and I promised I would.
I tried for weeks to write something that I felt was decent and a few days ago I finally wrote the poem that I think tells the best story.

On my journey to that poem I started, finished, scribbled several other approaches to the topic. I have decided to share those pit stops with you, which is why several of my newest posts are about abortion.

feel free to comment.

(on anything)

-Jacqueline Naami

(Thank you for faithfully reading)

What is that feeling in my gut?

I have this gut feeling
more than intuition
that something is happening to me
happening to me without me
happening because of me but with no regards to me
this kicking feeling in my gut
and the feeling is swelling steadily growing
has a life of it's own
making my own breathe short and uneven
and I feel like this is something that I should probably address
this feeling in my gut
this heavy
growing feeling in my stomach

I sleep it off
and I dream
of love
of life and a yard

I hear the words.


(a nightmare is sometimes defined as a dream that comes true without warning)


I dreamt about you
and it made me sick to remember
that I nearly held you

nearly nursed you
nearly loved you
instead I loved him and killed you
didn't know how to share
wasn't ready
I wish you would have waited
come in a couple of years or something

not saying it's your fault but your timing
your timing was off
so I had to do what he had me do
you want me to be happy, right?

And it's not that I want to forget you 
it's just that I don't want to remember
and my dreams are not a fair place for you to squander
see dreaming about you aint nothing new
that's not the part that gets me
it's the fact that you're different now
your face is harder 
and you look like you lived a rough life 
but I thought that is what I was saving you from

It hurts to think this much
I shouldn't have to hurt like this to remember Love

before they were dreams  of possibilities 
now dreams of regret
I never held you to my bosom 
that sweet milk of nature never touched your lips
I got no hug from short arms that could barely cover half my hip

and the fabricated memories of the old you now haunt me
with the contrast of the cold eyes that now visit me when I am sleeping

so kindly, stay out of my dreams
stop turning them to nightmares
and it's not that I want to forget you
It's just...
I don't want to remember

Delusions of Insomnia

While it is true that I have missed you
I have also enjoyed the sun on the back of neck and I don't even mind that is currently turning blacker than black

although I have missed the shade I am excited about all the UV rays in the distance

I hope I can absorb it all
I hope there is room enough in me to store it all
I don't mind if these rays infect me
take me over
fill me with dreams and positivity

see not all cancers kill
not all antibiotic heal
(it can be confusing, I know)
but I want this poison to engulf me
yes. this poison, my friends, is good

and I know you are reading this thinking that I am honoring you in metaphors
but this little napkin scribble is not what you think it is

it's  about him
but not him

the other him
it's about Him
and you and all of them

it's about all the hopes and dreams that I have
 and I see
 and I can almost grab
it is about that fact that I could choose to be depressed at any minute (you could too)
but the sunrise is just so so so inviting
and your shade...?

(by your, I mean their, I just forgot who I was talking to. I am actually still confused.)

their shade.
is not cool enough to keep out the fire
not cool enough for me to ignore the rays

born in one of the coldest months
I am blessed to be a fire sign

I am hot and that is why I sleep naked

it is 3:33 am and I have no idea what I am talking about.


but don't forget to make a wish! 

-Jacqueline Naami