Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Waffle House Journaling Continued.

I can feel myself on the brink of some intellectual maybe spiritual (maybe both)  break through.

I know that the combination that is guiding closer to my genesis is:

1. Self Love
2. Literature
3. Karma
4. And Positive Company/ energy around me.

I love myself. I embrace myself even though I am not the "prototype".
I am not all those things that I grew up being told made you pretty.
My face is not symmetrical, my skin not too clear, and my toes (smh) my toes are fat and short and stubby.

I am not complaining, not at all.

"Everything I'm not made me everything I am" so I am pleased

I can't help what's not symmetrical
but I can give up soda (@Frankeyz)
and my toes? You can all suck my toes. (I mean that with Love)

I do not feel inferior because my hair is very very short when it's wet or because I can't lay it down my back or because my skin is dark or because my toenails are hardly ever painted or because I have more African fabric than I do Forever 21 clothing

"No, you won't find me at no store. I have no time for manicures. with you it's never either or 'cause nothing even maters no more"

No one can love you like you can yourself. Unfortunately, in this world self Love takes practice. I have found release in literature tho.

It teaches you empathy so that you relate to another's hardship, happiness, sorrow, whatever. It broadens the mind and as I read (usually accompanied by music) I feel my heart and mind growing. Suddenly I  understand and care for people who in real life I would not have projected positive energy towards.
Sometimes that person you are learning to respect is yourself.

This sense of connectedness makes the world seem close to you
suddenly that vast space is condensed and you relate to everyone. You learn that all your quirky habits and lame jokes are accepted somewhere, somehow. You have options. The possibilities become endless. You know better how to accurately express yourself.

When your best friend breaks a dear promise
you are no longer -so mad!!-
you are irate

He isn't cute but instead he has -Kind eyes and a smile that refreshes like cold water on a dozing face-
there isn't -something about him-
instead - he awakens something in inside of you that you thought had gone away-

literature is key and with an appreciation for life and ppl you tend to treat ppl better because you relate to all life and feel their presence as part of the whole.
The Universe
and you know that the Universe is peace and while searching for peace you project goodness and thus create a stream of good karma in your life

blessing after blessing

this attracts individuals with positive natures who are seeking the same peace as you and you build on one another, stimulate each others thoughts, and engender dreams that uplift their hearts. There is support and drive. All of this pushes you to simultaneously want more- rather NEED more that what is provided in an average life of average thinking and practical goals, while always being satisfied.

"If I can't have what I want then my job is to want what I have and be satisfied that at least there is something more to want"

contradictorily peaceful but ALWAYS a soft urge pushing you to keep striving....

ummm. Yeah, The end!

-Jacqueline Naami

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