Outasight.

"i wanta say just gotta say something
bout those beautiful beautiful beautiful outasight
black men"

-Beautiful Black Men, Nikki Giovanni

when you said that you wanted to be there 

I was so proud so happy so pleased that it was finally me 

that was pullin' 

first time baiting the fish that I wanted

I believed that I had hooked you and 

in three words 

not even the good ones 

(for love was not yet a factor but in time

with you 

it very well could be) 

no not those three but in a phrase very similar but lacking in intensity 

you baited me forever. 

forever hooked whether I am forgotten or nurtured

whether I move on and hook  on some other pole

hooked whether I like it or not

hooked whether you claim that I misunderstood

cause getting this far with you was a mile stone.

I fought hard to keep my imagination grounded but you and me was an inspiring equation

I could not stop painting Da Vinci worthy family portraits in my head

the greatest of canvas'

I scribbled out our future with hearts and red pens

and i had a vision of you in the future 

 you were strong and black and you blew my mind like those 

"beautiful beautiful beautiful outasight black men with afros"

and I never got over the fact that you were mine

I was so lucky

or as you would say blessed

and I had no reason to fear anything except God when I was with you for you handled it ALL

but still I would share the worrying with you and if I couldn't l lighten the load on your back I would use my hands to massage it out of you 

I would start at your skull and work my way down until I was rubbing your feet with my hair 

if still your mind seemed heavy I was strong enough to lay you on your back and pull heaven through you and I would feed you me or chicken and greens

whatever you wanted to eat

or you could have the latter as an entree and

me for  desert

i could serve you both in the kitchen 

your one -stop -hunger- no -more- stress- reliever

I was that for you because you were ALL THAT and more for me

I would be whatever you needed from me

if you let me

but

I did try (however patheticly) to focus on what was now and let then be then or 

the to be 

be when it was ready to manifest

but I failed in keeping my hopes underground 

they floated without my permission

most were too high by the time I saw them and tried to net them

what i could catch I tried to swallow back down but they grew until they consumed me

I was hopelessly Hope-Full

and when I took a breathe on the exhale they would escape to join their brothers that had already reached and settled in the sky 

fighting for a ride on a shooting star 

to have my wish and dream

come true

for this to be it

just 

meandyou

together...the perfect singularity for a new a beautiful universe 

-Jacqueline Naami