Monday, May 10, 2010


"i wanta say just gotta say something
bout those beautiful beautiful beautiful outasight
black men"
-Beautiful Black Men, Nikki Giovanni

when you said that you wanted to be there 
I was so proud so happy so pleased that it was finally me 
that was pullin' 
first time baiting the fish that I wanted
I believed that I had hooked you and 
in three words 
not even the good ones 
(for love was not yet a factor but in time
with you 
it very well could be) 
no not those three but in a phrase very similar but lacking in intensity 
you baited me forever. 
forever hooked whether I am forgotten or nurtured
whether I move on and hook  on some other pole
hooked whether I like it or not
hooked whether you claim that I misunderstood
cause getting this far with you was a mile stone.

I fought hard to keep my imagination grounded but you and me was an inspiring equation
I could not stop painting Da Vinci worthy family portraits in my head
the greatest of canvas'
I scribbled out our future with hearts and red pens
and i had a vision of you in the future 
 you were strong and black and you blew my mind like those 

"beautiful beautiful beautiful outasight black men with afros"

and I never got over the fact that you were mine
I was so lucky
or as you would say blessed
and I had no reason to fear anything except God when I was with you for you handled it ALL
but still I would share the worrying with you and if I couldn't l lighten the load on your back I would use my hands to massage it out of you 
I would start at your skull and work my way down until I was rubbing your feet with my hair 
if still your mind seemed heavy I was strong enough to lay you on your back and pull heaven through you and I would feed you me or chicken and greens
whatever you wanted to eat
or you could have the latter as an entree and
me for  desert
i could serve you both in the kitchen 
your one -stop -hunger- no -more- stress- reliever
I was that for you because you were ALL THAT and more for me
I would be whatever you needed from me
if you let me


I did try (however patheticly) to focus on what was now and let then be then or 
the to be 
be when it was ready to manifest
but I failed in keeping my hopes underground 
they floated without my permission
most were too high by the time I saw them and tried to net them
what i could catch I tried to swallow back down but they grew until they consumed me
I was hopelessly Hope-Full
and when I took a breathe on the exhale they would escape to join their brothers that had already reached and settled in the sky 
fighting for a ride on a shooting star 
to have my wish and dream
come true
for this to be it


together...the perfect singularity for a new a beautiful universe 

-Jacqueline Naami

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